how to kill a good yoga buzz
This special recipe should only be used under strict supervision by a loving partner or an extra friendly bartender.
to kill a good yoga buzz:
take 1 part - realizing your yoga class went a solid 12 minutes past the hour. you are now going to be late to pick up your child. awesome, breathe, call kids yoga studio and explain.
add equal parts - catch every red light on the way to pick up child, with being cut off by a psycho talking on her cell phone while driving giant SUVs - twice.
shake to combine.
normally this might be enough to kill your average yoga buzz, but we are talking about a really high quality buzz so you will need to add the following:
1 part - Your child screaming for treats from the back seat all the way up the highway
mix well with 2 parts - after you give your child her water bottle she throws it hitting you in the arm and spilling water everywhere
add 4 parts giant screaming phone argument with your partner over absolutely nothing.
decide you need coffee.
as you pull into the coffee shop parking lot add a dollop of your child screaming “you are so mean! i don’t want you i want my papa!”
congratulations! your yoga buzz is now fully and completely dead.
find next available class, and make a mental note to start wearing a watch.
to kill a good yoga buzz:
take 1 part - realizing your yoga class went a solid 12 minutes past the hour. you are now going to be late to pick up your child. awesome, breathe, call kids yoga studio and explain.
add equal parts - catch every red light on the way to pick up child, with being cut off by a psycho talking on her cell phone while driving giant SUVs - twice.
shake to combine.
normally this might be enough to kill your average yoga buzz, but we are talking about a really high quality buzz so you will need to add the following:
1 part - Your child screaming for treats from the back seat all the way up the highway
mix well with 2 parts - after you give your child her water bottle she throws it hitting you in the arm and spilling water everywhere
add 4 parts giant screaming phone argument with your partner over absolutely nothing.
decide you need coffee.
as you pull into the coffee shop parking lot add a dollop of your child screaming “you are so mean! i don’t want you i want my papa!”
congratulations! your yoga buzz is now fully and completely dead.
find next available class, and make a mental note to start wearing a watch.
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